By Marlo Torrelli, LPC, NCC

So many of us are seeking more emotional balance and a sense of well-being, but where do we even start when so many aspects of our daily lives can feel so stressful, overwhelming, and chaotic?

If you read our most recent blog post, you know that one key concept is to create a space between our emotions and actions. This may seem like common sense to a lot of people (it's not exactly rocket science to tell someone that they should hit the "pause" button when they are triggered or experiencing an intense emotion, allowing themselves a moment to hopefully choose an effective action that works for their life and their relationships), but many of us find this to be a difficult thing to achieve.

So what's ONE WAY to do this more consistently?

The answer is self-validation.

Great... but what does that really mean? (Glad you asked!)
Self-validation is the nonjudgmental acknowledgment of our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and experience. When we self-validate, we are acknowledging that our own experiences make sense given our life circumstances, backgrounds, and values.

When we find ourselves "triggered" by a situation or thought, it's important to take a moment to say to ourselves, "It makes sense that this situation is making me feel this emotion because ______."

Here's an example many of us can relate to: "It makes sense that my husband forgetting our dinner plans is making me feel angry and disappointed because I really miss him. I was looking forward to reconnecting with him. This relationship is important to me and staying connected with my partner is something I value."

When we take a moment to self-validate, it's much more likely that we will be able to create that important space between our emotion and action, allowing us to choose an intentional action that is in keeping with our goals, values, and priorities rather than reacting impulsively from our "emotion mind." This not only helps keep us in a more balanced emotional state, but it also helps us communicate our thoughts and needs to others more effectively.